…give me your Parmigiana (with apologies to William Shakespeare).

After a warm day of setting up the tent and wandering around looking at the wildlife opportunities we repaired to the Yanchep Inn for a cooling beverage and a meal. As we were entering a notice on the door caught my eye. It was a warning about the kookaburras and how they were mugging patrons for their food – they particularly liked to rob children of their burgers and chips. I thought at the time it was amusing and didn’t think anything of it.

Twenty minutes later I heard a whooshing sound and felt wings just graze my head. Fast reactions meant that the bandit had to retire to a nearby pole with nothing. Ten minutes later there were half a dozen of them. Meanwhile a group of four on the table just opposite had had their meals delivered by the waitress. All of a sudden the birds scramble and then dive for the table like Stukas on a bombing run. Hermann Göring would have been impressed. It was a close run thing and the kookaburras were only just repelled. Realising that discretion was the better part of valour they beat a hasty retreat back inside with cries of “F**king vermin!!!!”

It is obvious that just a sign casually warning about the kookaburras isn’t sufficient. I think there should be air raid sirens, ack ack guns, and Anderson shelters. While helmets might be a requirement I don’t think gas masks need be issued.